Category: Philosophy

Posted on

A Day in the Life of a Cell Phone

I found a cell phone today, oh boy!
It was laying there in the yard.
And though the phone looked rather sad,
I just had to laugh,
I saw the photograph.

It blew its mind out on the tar.
It didn’t notice that the lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They’d seen this phone before
But nobody was really sure if it was from the Hardware Store.

 

Cut … what do you think this is?  Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds?  Now go and get that crowd out of here, read your book, and turn something on or off.  And lay off the English Army films.

Posted on

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

Blazing yule logs, what is going on here?  Fresh back to planet Earth, we see that not all things can ever be perfect.  That’s right, that’s not a guitar, it’s a lawn mower, also known as George.

Frozen Chores

Not being in harmony with the other tools in the shed, this mega-sensitive lawn mower refused to call it quits at the beginning of this early winter season back this past November.  Indeed it had yet to complete the mowing of this fenced-in portion of our yard at that time.  Amazingly, I received a letter from the Lawn Tool Civil Liberties Union, or LTCLU, and their attorney that I was not to store away said lawn mower until it got the chance to take one last whack at the grass it had not yet cut.   And to think the paperwork specified that I was to keep it running with a full tank of gas.  Yeah right, the nerve of the AI of things today.  And so it froze to the ground.   Now, here it is 3 months later on February 25th, and the stubbornness of this contraption lingers under the snow awaiting for the moment the spring thaw arrives and its wheels become unfrozen from the ground.  But ya know that could be April or so around here.  It does have a full tank of gas, but it sputtered out one night long ago.  I drew the line at restarting it, again.

Oh, seeing that this thing is about 6 years old, I don’t believe it will recall what it was working on before the cold and snow hit.  I’m gonna have to repeat myself, like I so often did with my kids when they were that age.  Come to think of it, that really never stops, even in their twenties.

In a few months we’ll see how things mend with the other members of the group in the shed.  Mr lawn mower might have to improve up on his performance and mature into the lead role on his own ideas.  Sometimes playing the right chord is the key to success, and having outside help from friends like Eric, can muster enough motivation to create a long lasting impression.  Indeed.

I’m not exactly sure where that last thought came from, but until then, this lawn mower will be mowing your strawberry fields forever.  And don’t forget the rodents.

 

Posted on

What’s in a Name (part 2)?

Recently I had blogged about the problems with a last name such as mine. Well here’s an update with a picture.  Seems Discover Card “College” has figured out, perhaps phonetically, where I live.  Incidentally, I have lived here since 1992 – my name hasn’t changed that I know of.Continuing, I imagine that since the last name went from “St.Jean” to “SA Jeine”, they might as well go full throttle and change my first name “Phil” to “Vill”.  Veal?  Perhaps the originator was from Montreal, but I seem to recall the pronunciation there for “Phil” was more like “Feeel”.  BTW, I’m about 35-40 years past traditional college age.

I am fully aware that this is a problem that many folks doing genealogy research encounter.  Before I go into that, I will point out that I am still alive.  Often times in the Census records, it might be difficult to locate ones ancestors.  For example, you Cyr folks, some federal census records might have you as Cyr, Seer, Sear, and so on.  For you Therriault families, you might be Theriaut, Terrio, etc.  Basically an English speaking guy going into a French speaking town and trying to figure what the heck he needs to write.  Not that all of the census records are like this, but quite a few are.  I imagine other national origins are similar.

To make some things interesting, the St.Jean ancestry can be traced to Louis Anctil who was born in 1673 in Saint-Pair de Ducey, Normandy, France emigrating to Canada at some point.  According to what I know, Louis was also known as “Louis Anctil Dit St. Jean”.  In some circles, the Dit part is often hyphenated, so “Louis Anctil-Dit-St.Jean”.  This family, or parts left of it, eventually settled in northern Maine in the latter 1700’s.  And when the census takers eventually caught up to them, the census takers couldn’t handle the long name like that in such a small box on the form let alone how to pronounce it.  So some took the Anctil surname and others took the St.Jean surname by virtue of the census taker’s patience.  Others have suggested that the surname split had to do with criminal activity but my great uncle Lettuce assures me, from jail, that they only made small batches of whiskey for personal use.

So back to the immediate point.  I find receiving mail such as this to be humorous for my benefit.  I can throw it away saying “nope, no one here by that name”.  Comes in handy if it’s a bill – “Nope, never got it!”.  I mean think about it, how would I know if it was really for me anyway; and if it was, then have the time to help them fix it.  Of course I jest a little bit.  Next time send a twenty with that.

 

Posted on

Central Maine Power Billing Blunder

According to this WMTW TV news story, CMP has under-billed several thousand customers.  And, CMP is thinking of possibly spreading the missed charges throughout their customer base.  How wrong is that?  Completely wrong – other customers should not pay for electricity used by any other customer.

So the number seems to be 3,400 customers were under-billed.  There is no mention of a dollar amount, but I’m pretty sure it would be easy for CMP to figure that out.  In fact, they should already know what it is.  So how much?  

Here’s a kicker, according to the published story, CMP is blaming it on a rash of recent retirees who failed to keep up with accounts.  Can you say “Hello, computer automation”?  And no, it is simply poor sportsmanship to blame it on retirees.  One could say procedural problems, and thus management.

The linked WMTW news article is very sparse.  So here’s some farside data to fill that in.  Note that some info is actually real.

Naturally, I bet the next thing CMP will come out with is that they lost all customer security deposits, and because that is a kind of revenue, that they’ll need to spread the loss amongst the customer base for that.  LOL, just saying.

Anyway, years ago, we manually marked up where the meter dials were for our bill, and sent those in.  If CMP had to do an estimate, they did.  Once a real person read the meter, any discrepancies in the energy used by that single customer would reconcile eventually.  That should not be the problem now, either with smart meters nor analog meters, so I assume it isn’t.

And who are these 3,400 clients?  Do they have special billing privileges that are exceptions to the billing structures and thus are handled manually and not by extremely accurate and faithfully never-wrong computer algorithms?  That can’t be it.

Well, according to the Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife website, there are about 76,000 moose in Maine.  In the fridge research, I’m putting it out there that there are likely some 3,400 moose living in close proximity to electrical facilities and power transmission lines.  Moose absorb electricity at 1/5 KWh per year.  Maybe more because those beasts can weigh a thousand pounds or more, or less, or more-or-less.  That means 3,400 moose make off with roughly 680 KWh total per year.  At .071 cents per KWh, that means revenue lost to moose absorbency is about $48.28 a year.  After taxes, baseline fees, delivery fees, special fees, hidden fees, golf cart fees, parking fees, storage fees, legal fees, underreported late fees, season ticket fees, duplicate fees, association fees, South Portland plastic bag fees, drive-by fees, wire-watching fees, Canadian fees, occasional fees, spare part fees, incentive fees, 401k management fees, fees fees, Burt’s Bees, fuzzy fees, shop supply fees, Mooselookmeguntic Lake fees, and adjustment fees to the Federal government’s $96 million dollar smart meter implementation stimulus grant, the grand lost revenue total is $20,789,734.54 … even.  Oddly enough, that is suspiciously looking like the CMP Lewiston office’s phone number (207) 897-3454.

I believe they are adding phone numbers, house numbers, random numbers, retired numbers, irrational numbers, and imaginary numbers into the lost revenue audit process totals.  Either that or the moose have hacked the Internet.

UPDATE 2018-12-05:  Newspaper reports on Portland Press Herald website.

Posted on

What’s in a name?

I have this name:  Philip St.Jean.  I do have a middle name, but that’s not important right now.  I have received mail as “Mr St” – I throw it out, because that’s not my name, nor am I a street.  But I digress, as I also get mail as “Mr Jean”, and several other variants.  I also get phone calls these ways, but I digress again, I just hang up because I know they don’t know me.

So today around 2pm I went to the bank where I have an account.  My bank is part of a larger network of banks “joined” together, which is why they are probably all called credit unions in this case.  Anyway, I can go to my bank and using funds in my account, make a payment on a loan that I have at another bank.   They call it something like shared service banking.  I don’t get charged for the transaction.

I’ve done this same transaction at the same location several times in the past with no problem.  It’s a nice feature, especially when the other bank is located hundreds of miles away.

But then the policy changed!  Seems if the name on the accounts don’t match between the two banking entities, my bank can refuse to process the request.  Which is what happened today.  Whoa there horse.  I have account numbers at each bank, and I know the numbers for both.  Seems to me if my local bank has my funds in my account X, and they know it’s me because I have a picture ID (my license), and I want to pay account Y at the other bank, then they should just do it.  Never mind that my bank says I’m “Philip St-Jean” and that the 2nd bank in this transaction said I might be “Philip J St.”.  My middle name is “James” – neat, just throwing that out there.  Yeah, my license has “Philip J St Jean”.  So which one am I?

Well that was rather long.

Anyway, the teller looked a bit uncertain what to do, walked to a corner room, and came back with a letter of sorts that had the “policy” on it.  I briefly read it.  What nonsense.  I spoke out and said “call them”, meaning the teller to call the other bank while I waited.  I had plenty of time.  Another teller leaned over and looked at the “policy”.  I guess they concurred because I was basically told that I’d have to call the other bank and come back when my name was fixed at the other bank.

I know my last name has caused issues for some computer applications for quite some time.  I have lived computers since the 1970s.  I understand the thought process of a programmer whose surname might be Brown – isn’t that right Patty?

But, in any event I wasn’t going home to call the other bank because my name doesn’t need fixing.  I was thinking “It’s my money, just send it!”.  Actually I was thinking if that’s what they want me to do, then I’m going to close out this account before I leave.  Not that it’s a large account.  It’s the principle – the service, and that’s what I was there for.

After about 10 minutes, this ended up getting resolved locally by the lady in the other office who gave her authorization.  I think that lady was human and not a robot, but I have no proof.  A nice one though.  I surmise some teller training should be conducted to go along with policy changes, not to mention some possible feedback to the bank IT department for a potential problem ticket.

Thankfully, I have a sense of humor.  Don’t bother sending the survey form, just read this, and move on.

Posted on

Roadkill 2018 I’m OK with that!

I started to write this post stating that this was a rather intense season for roadkill.  The remnant and fresh carcasses of squirrels, chipmunks, groundhogs, birds, foxes, skunks, porcupines, raccoons were seemingly littering the road more than I can recall starting near the end of August and even up until now in early October.  We hear about Hurricane seasons, but I just wasn’t sure if roadkill season was an appropriate phrase.  But I’ll leave it at that and assume there should be a roadkill season if there isn’t one already.

Skunks.  I prefer that any skunk that ends up roadkill, be at least 5 or more miles from my house.  Preferably 50.  I hear there are disposal sacks that can contain the odor of a squashed skunk.  That’s good, but who tested that?

Foxes, birds, porcupines, raccoons, deer.  Unless sick or almost dead anyway, I’d prefer not to see these animals dead in the road.  Just the other day, a small juvenile fox darted across the road in front of my car.  It had a pretty coat, looked in good shape, stopped briefly on the other side of the road, then disappeared into a culvert.  It made it safely across, and I’m ok with that.  Now the guy who has the chicken coop on that side might have different ideas about how things should turn out.

And that brings me to chipmunks and squirrels.

You see, I posted this past Spring about my small but very important Strawberry garden (see post).  I like fresh strawberries.  I like fresh strawberries with cream.  I like fresh strawberry shortcake.  Strawberry season is usually mid-June to early July, so it’s not that long, but I look forward to it nonetheless.  I just do.  Kind of like getting whoopie pies for my birthday in April.

And for a while I liked chipmunks.  I had commented to my wife, Lisa, on occasion, that we’ve been at our property since 1991 and had never had a resident chipmunk.  That was until the end of 2017 when I spotted the first one to stay.  So when Mr chipmunk again showed up in early 2018 after the snow melt, I was thinking “cool”.

I didn’t know chipmunks and squirrels ate strawberries.

That is, until I bragged about the strawberry garden and how I was so looking forward to it.  And when it came about that time to harvest a bowl or two, I opened the front door, took a step out, and froze.  Yonder on other side of garden, I spotted Mr Chipmunk looking right at me with a strawberry in its possession.  He tried to be very still.  But no way, I can spot a nice strawberry a mile away, and Mr Chipmunk had one solidly in his mouth.   I was rightly furious.  Soon though, the stupid Mr chipmunk dropped the strawberry and ran off.  What a waste, he didn’t even take it.  I walked over to the strawberry and saw it was about one third eaten.  I looked around and noticed most of the strawberries ready to be picked had already been gnawed on.  My wife said both Mr chipmunk and squirrels were at it.

So the strawberry harvest was nil this year, and my “chipmunk’s are cool” thoughts are more like “stay the heck out of my strawberry garden, I own a rifle”.  But I live too close to the road, so I’d probably have to resort to flinging some sharp stones.  I used to be good with a slingshot.

We used to have a few bunnies when the kids were young.  One bunny, Ginger got out of the cage and ran across the street.  It never made it back and was a roadkill statistic that year.  I buried her out in the woods.  I checked on it the next day and another animal had already dug it up and dragged it off.  I’m ok with that.

With such a heavy roadkill this year and an unlikely letup in traffic in front of my house, I think I’ll just sit back and let the road do it’s work, this year or next.  Mr chipmunk and Mr and Mrs squirrels will probably want to try the road running at some point.  It seems these Mr chipmunk and Mr and Mrs squirrels are the majority of those in the roadkill census anyway.  And I’m ok with that.

I will have to mine my strawberry field however.

 

Posted on

Damn the Torpedoes!

Beaked Hazelnuts (photo by Cezarie St.Jean)

Picked a small batch of these hidden gems a wee bit earlier than normal after what happened this year to our strawberry patch, but that’s another story.  We’ll let them dry as they are until the husks are brown and before we extract the nut.  Hopefully they will mostly be free of insect pests, such as weevil larvae – not that some of us have probably eaten a few of those wiggly things on purpose or not. These beaked hazelnuts grow wild here in Maine and the nuts are simply delicious. Years ago it wouldn’t have been uncommon for many a youngster to smack a burlap bag of these on the hard ground to enable getting to the nut easier.  You don’t really want to handle the husk with bare hands mind you – the hairs on the husk can be quite irritating, especially to the fingertips.  Oh, and I’m also talking about the real burlap, not that plastic fake burlap.

Anyway, in the grand scheme of time, these will soon be eaten;  and so “Damn the Torpedoes, full steam ahead”:  pare the husks, crack the shells open, sit back, and enjoy one of nature’s most tasty  morsels.  The hazelnut.  Aah!

Posted on

Orange Blossom Special

To be more precise this is Orange Blossom Water, and it is something special alright!  Downright special, as in YUCK.  I tried this and it is just wrong to my senses.  I tried to give some to our dog and she has been missing now for 3 days.  Note to wife – do not buy this even if the label is pretty.  One of our sons, who eats and drinks most everything, keeled over during a taste of this.  Maybe you’ll find it suitable, but for me, no way not gonna happen.  Just saying.

Posted on

Y2K

The world did not end during the Y2K epoch, but as of 2018, it is 18 years closer to doing so.  Other than that, things are fine.

Posted on

Lost, bought, and found!

It’s amazing how many things I have lost, bought a replacement, and subsequently found the original. I’m talking mostly tools maybe even whole computers.  Take this solder sucker that I recently bought for example – I could not find my tried and true heavy duty one.  Now that I have received this new plastic one, my old one should show up any minute.  But even so, what I want to know is how the kids managed to hide my stuff for so long in the first place, and then how they knew when I’ve bought replacements. To be honest, there were some things I cared more about than others and sometimes stuff like computers were in pieces – I believe they were too young to realize I still wanted them.  I mean, that I wanted the computers.  Wait.  I also wanted the kids, but that could be another story.