I found a cell phone today, oh boy!
It was laying there in the yard.
And though the phone looked rather sad,
I just had to laugh,
I saw the photograph.
It blew its mind out on the tar.
It didn’t notice that the lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They’d seen this phone before
But nobody was really sure if it was from the Hardware Store.
Cut … what do you think this is? Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds? Now go and get that crowd out of here, read your book, and turn something on or off. And lay off the English Army films.